September 2000 in a field in County Durham. Silent John, The Guru and myself were attending a motorcycle rally. Having arrived late on the Friday night, they dragged me off to the beer tent to enable me to reach the same level of inebriation in as little time as possible. "White Stallion"was the name of the brew I believe, and it was served in a two litre plastic bottle with child poof locking caps. It should have been just like any other rally, arrive Friday night, get wasted, spend Saturday recovering in time for the evening session etc etc., and indeed, that seem to be the path that was emerging.
Having procured ourselves much Stallion to imbibe, we found that we became the inheritors of all the candles and flares that had been left behind as people drifted off into the night, intoxication having taken took its toll. In the glow of the candles the theory of the Apathy Principle began to coalesce. None of us can pinpoint what triggered the discussion, it was like so many a drunken conversation, meandering from the sublime to the ridiculous much as an inebriate stumbles down the road. It was probably a comment along the lines that one of us couldn't be bothered to get up and go to bed, followed by another of us saying they couldn't be bothered to drink any more, that led to the revelation: You only do something because it's the most apathetic thing to do! On the face of it this may seem a nonsensical contradiction, and one has to understand the mechanics of our thinking at 2 a.m. on that September morning, so let us consider the options that were presented to this drunken trinity: 1.Continue drinking the White Stallion.
On the face of it the most viable option. However, take into consideration that at 2pm on a Saturday morning an empty marquee tends to get rather chilly. So you have to ask yourself
"Can I be arsed to stay here?"
Having procured ourselves much Stallion to imbibe, we found that we became the inheritors of all the candles and flares that had been left behind as people drifted off into the night, intoxication having taken took its toll. In the glow of the candles the theory of the Apathy Principle began to coalesce. None of us can pinpoint what triggered the discussion, it was like so many a drunken conversation, meandering from the sublime to the ridiculous much as an inebriate stumbles down the road. It was probably a comment along the lines that one of us couldn't be bothered to get up and go to bed, followed by another of us saying they couldn't be bothered to drink any more, that led to the revelation: You only do something because it's the most apathetic thing to do! On the face of it this may seem a nonsensical contradiction, and one has to understand the mechanics of our thinking at 2 a.m. on that September morning, so let us consider the options that were presented to this drunken trinity: 1.Continue drinking the White Stallion.
On the face of it the most viable option. However, take into consideration that at 2pm on a Saturday morning an empty marquee tends to get rather chilly. So you have to ask yourself
"Can I be arsed to stay here?"
2.Retire to your tent.
This is the other option. However, you have reached a stage where you are finding it difficult to speak, let alone manage to stand up, so the act of rising and heading towards your sleeping place is a gargantuan task. So you have to ask yourself
"Can I be bothered to get up?"
The point where the decision is made is when one option is the most apathetic course to take, and the other option becomes hard work by comparison.So, around 2 a.m., the Apathy level would be tipped in favour of the first option, as getting up would seem to be an almost impossible task for which the exertion does not equal the rewards. However, gradually, over an indefinite period of time, the act of staying and drinking would require more and more effort, to a point where the Apathy level would increase in the direction of the second option.
Naturally this theory needs more development but, well...........
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